A Large Meal on a Small Plate. Plus Dessert.

I’m in a make funk. I haven’t been doing much of anything lately. Socially, I am. I’m meeting friends for lunch, going biking, clogging with my class. I’m even going out to an actual rock and roll show this week! And of course I get plenty done at work. But other than that, not much of anything. I mean around the house. I mean craft-wise. On my weekends. On my day off. Nothing.

It’s not that I don’t have anything to do. You should see my list! It’s huge! And I think that’s it – it’s too huge. I’m overwhelmed. There is too much food on the plate in front of me. Every time I turn around there’s a new, fun project staring me in the face. Appetizer! Drinks! Dessert! And I want to eat it all! Right then and there! So I do some research and figure out where I need to start on this new project, but I put it off. I know I can’t begin a new project because I have too many works in progress right now and I should be dedicating my time to them. I’m already full. I need to digest. But I just can’t seem to get up and get done what needs to be done.

I need focus. I need motivation. I need more than just a list of things to do. Do I need a reward? Will that get me off my butt? Rewards are hard for me, though. I’m very good at treating myself in a pretty special way. I’m so worth it! I eat what I please when I please, I drink champagne on a regular basis, I buy what I want when I want to, and I veg in front of the television when I have time to relax. What kind of reward can I give myself that I don’t give myself every time I feel like it?

What I really want is for the completion of the project to be my reward. That’s what makes me feel good! That’s what gives me self-confidence and pride in what I do! Wearing a new pair of handknit socks, looking at a nicely weeded flower garden, or even peeing into a toilet that I’ve just cleaned makes me happy. The more often that I make these rewards for myself, the more I’ll be reminded that the result *is* the reward. And the more likely it is that I’ll continue to present those rewards to myself.

Today is Tuesday, the beginning of my work week. A good day to begin rewarding myself again. When I hit ‘publish’ on this post I’ll be able to check the first item off of my list for today, and I’ll have the reward of knowing that I’ve worked some things out in my head through writing about it. That’s a good feeling. One that I’ll want to have again tomorrow.